The Main Quest: H'lunras
by Holuke
Summary: As you follow along in H'lunras's point of view in the world of Oblivion, get to know the game as well. Rated T because...um...I don't know. No cursing, just some violence...and, uh...sarcasm.
1. Imperial Prison prt 1

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth, impatient for my time in jail to be over. I wandered near the cell door to see if the guards were coming, but instead was greeted by the worn face of a dark elf. My name, you ask?

H'lunras, a purebred Khajiit through and through. I am a _female_, by the way. Would you like to know why I was here, rotting in a cold prison cell in the Imperial City rather than romping about in Elsweyr? Good question. Truth to be told, I don't know either.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."

My ears pricked up at the sound of the dark elf's voice. It was unusually high to me, since I wasn't used to hearing grown men with the voice of an aristocratic twelve-year-old. I eyed him hungrily, hoping he'd back off sooner or later.

"There's a nice juicy rat in my cell…" I paid no further attention to his taunts, although they echoed loudly in the prison corridors. With a twitch of my whiskers, I thought, _Geez, when will this dude shut up?_

Suddenly, I heard voices and the clanking of armor. Not cool.

"You hear that? That's the guards, coming for you! Yes, you!" I turned, baring my teeth at the insufferable wretch in the cell across from me.

"If you utter one more stupid word from that rip in your head that you call a mouth, I swear—"

"Why is there a prisoner in this cell?"

My ears swiveled as I peered at the guards out of the corner of my eyes. They were wearing unusual armor for the normal prison watch. Deciding against a decision I had long since made before, I hid my single lock pick in my shirt. The guards kept talking amongst themselves.

"I told you there was not supposed to be any prisoners kept in this cell."

"It must have been the usual mix-up at the watch."

"Never mind that. We've got to get the Emperor out of here."

"You, prisoner!" I looked up, realizing that the guard slash knight was barking at me. "Back by the window. Now."

Glancing at their sheathed katanas, I withdrew quickly and sat in an old pile of bones under the window. The emperor came in, wearing a regal gown of fur and other valuable fabrics. A large pendant glittered around his neck, and my mouth watered with greed.

Okay, I'll be honest here (for once). I'm a cold-blooded criminal, bad to the bone. Really, you have no idea how fun it can be to break into someone's house _just to scare the children!_ Not only do you have pride and self-confidence, but you can get free loot in return. How awesome is that, really?

Despite this, they passed me by without a single thought, although the Redguard locked the cell behind him. How…inconvenient. The guards walked past, giving me curt glares. I really hate them. The emperor, though, was nicer.

"You…you're the one from my dream!" My eyes leapt around the room, trying to find another source of entertainment other than hearing the old guy rant. I just gave him whatever answers I felt like. Uriel Septim, what a joke. As a child, I often made perverted jokes with his name.

Ah, youth. Ha. I still have it and there's no way I'm going to abandon it soon. After all, to me, old means being on the wrong side of twenty-four. I know for sure, I'm not twenty-four. Rather, I'm a teenager, a teensy little seventeen-year-old woman.

"It's must be your lucky day, prisoner."

"Huh?" By than, the guard had already left. I hadn't paid much attention to anything, all I knew was: _escape from this stupid hole alive! _A gaping hole in the wall was open to me now. With a flourish, I plucked out my lock pick and took off my wrist irons. Geez, those things really rubbed into my wrist. I took off after the guards, checking every little niche for a chest or a sack as we went along.

Upon entering the Imperial Subterrane, fearsome (and I do mean FEARSOME. You really should have seen the size of those axes) assassins jumped from every available foothold. There was at least four in counting, but I wouldn't know, as I was never taught my numbers. I was too busy cutting class to care, either.

I'm kidding. I know my numbers. I learned by counting the gold pieces I pick pocketed off the shopkeepers.

One of the guards fell to their knees as the last assassins were polished off. Her katana lay not twenty feet away from her limp body, and I inched towards the weapon. As soon as the other guard's backs were turned, I snatched it up and checked the guard's body. A few gold coins, not much. Obviously, this woman believed in traveling light.

I looked through the robes of the assassin's corpses as well. I found a few potions, not much, but enough to keep me alive if I suddenly had a stomachache. Sighing, I backed off just as a guard rushed to the dead guard's body to confirm his suspicion.

"Captain Renault…" He trailed off, and the other guard patted him on the shoulder.

"Come on, Glenroy. We must get the emperor to safety; it's what she would have wanted us to do without her."

They gathered up the emperor, who was sheathing an iron sword, looking about the room. With a nod in my direction, he muttered, "We'll meet up again later."

The guard known as Glenroy looked me in the eye. "Stay back, prisoner, this is Blades business." I narrowed my eyes as he walked behind the emperor, through the rusted iron gate. He had this annoying habit of locking my escape route, which really rubs me the wrong way. Now, they even left me alone in a secret underground portion of the dungeon. If the watch found me here, they'd have my tail for sure.

I wondered if Uriel knew what he had been saying before he left. How in the world could we meet up later, anyway?


	2. Imperial Prison prt 2

So they left me down in the Imperial Subterrane, all alone, possibly with the Watch…. looking for me. Not cool. I'm still…erhem…a coward by nature, you know. Even as I thought that, a portion of the wall to my right crumbled and two really large rats came rushin' out, squeaking like…well, however rats squeak.

I was kind of frightened, too. I sincerely consider rats to be 'ill-mannered', what with their barbaric attitudes. Which means, if you get cornered, you better be prepared to have your bones crunched and your flesh ripped to pieces…ew.

Anyway…. they cornered me. If you don't know why I was scared to death, listen to this: these rats are the size of large poodles, maybe even small wolves, you choose. I could see all the insects and parasites crawling through their fur…gross. Plus, these guys were hungry. Real hungry. I could see their rib cages right through that oily gray fur. In spite of my cowardice, I grabbed Captain Renaults' katana. You can tell I was desperate, right?

One leaped up, mouth open, drool everywhere. I raised the katana and swung it like…like a katana. _Sh-Thwasquish-Thud!_ I opened an eye to see what happened. The rat that had apparently jumped at me was crouched on the floor, blood spewing out from its mouth, jaw hanging awry. Yuck. I opened my other eye, and swung down. The katana skewered the injured rat and it went…plop. Death, simple as roasting a boar over a fire. Or purchasing a pre-cooked boar for 30 GP.

I struck the other rat through the spine. It looked painful, to be honest. This killing stuff was (and still is) fun.

I walked through the hole in the wall and searched around, still holding the katana up as if to fight…nobody. I strapped it to my belt and wandered over to a chest tucked away in the side. I opened it up and was disappointed to see a single rusty iron war ax in it. Tough. I heaved it out and looked at the empty- wait! I see a sparkle. A lockpick! Thank the Nine!

I pushed it into my pocket and walked over to a skeleton that looked like it had hung around one hundred years too long. There was some light armor tossed around, specifically, a rough leather cuirass and boots. I also found 10 GP and a bow, but no quiver.

I picked open another chest lying in the shadow of a pillar. As I opened it, I was certainly not disappointed. There were several precious gems lying about, and a small quiver. A torch, too, but in my case, I didn't need it at all. My species can cast a special spell that lets us see in the dark, to no expense towards ourselves.

I strapped the quiver onto my back and took aim at a well bucket. My arms were beginning to get tired from taking so long to aim, so I took the shot and hit it right on target. I walked over and pulled the arrow out and placed it back into my new quiver.

There was the body of a Goblin Shaman lying in front of the door I was going to pass through. I looted it, ignoring the disgusting feel of its oily, scaly skin. Everything seems oily today…I wonder why. I came up with a few valuables, but most importantly, the key to the stupid door. I definitely did not feel like breaking a bunch of lock picks to get through only one door…

I jammed the key into the lock and pushed it open. Through the door, it was nearly pitch black, so naturally, I squinted and tried to adjust my eyes until I finally just got fed up and cast Night-Eye on myself. There was a rat not ten feet away from me, twitching its whiskers and doing its little rat things. I snuck around a few pillars, moving veeery slowly. He wasn't a whiskers breadth away when I unsheathed the katana at my belt and slashed at it. Luckily, I didn't have to do any more fighting-it died instantly.

As I stood up to look about, I spied a chest and unlocked it, finding only a few things I would have any relative use for. I took out the lock picks and the health potion and shut the chest back up. Yawning, I blinked, and my Night-Eye spell wore off. Hurriedly, I recast the spell only two see two more rats running in my direction. I unsheathed my sword, but they turned and ran towards the door, piling on top of each other to get out. What could they be running away from that is so frightening?

I shrugged. Who cares? I butchered the rats and turned, smiling like an idiot.

I am an idiot. There was a zombie right there, moaning, groaning, smelling. I mean it, the thing smelt really gross. Disgusting! I sliced at it, freaking out. I was cornered again, near the door, but I certainly didn't want to go back there. Besides, what if the zombie had enough brain left to know how to use a door?

So, I kept slicing, dicing, etc, until it finally dropped dead. I stabbed it a few more times just to make sure that it was dead. After its half-rotted body parts were mangled enough, I finally sheathed my sword and walked down the adjacent corridor. There was a dead rat in my way, which was apparently the zombie's doing. Not much I could do there…

I cast Night-Eye again as I walked through the end of the corridor to find two rats skittering around a few pillars. I killed them both and picked the lock on a nearby chest. My eyes were sparkling with greed as I imagined what I could find in the chest. Gold? Nice weaponry? A decent pair of pants?

I pulled the chest open and looked inside. Disappointing. There were twenty gold pieces and two lock picks, not to mention torches I would probably regret using. After all, I was trying to avoid getting killed by sneaking around the place. What kind of idiot would try to sneak past…I don't know, a zombie…with a friggin torch? It certainly wouldn't end well. I tried to imagine it-an Imperial thief and two zombies trying to talk.

ZOMBIE 1: I don't know, Bob. I pulled a few maggots out of my foot last week…

ZOMBIE 2: Well, gee, Joe, look at that! Someone is running around with a big light over his head! Should we kill him?

ZOMBIE 1: Haha, Bob! It's probably just a really big lightning bug!

ZOMBIE 2: I guess you're right, Joe! Now about your maggot problem…

Shyeah. Like that'd happen. I sniggered as quietly as I could while sneaking up behind the rat, raising the katana to kill it. It turned around and spotted me. Jumping up, I swung the katana in a panic a few times and sighed. The rat twitched as it leaked blood all over my new (actually, they're older than me, but I just got them…ya, know?) boots.

The next hall wasn't very long. It led down to some steps and a bunch of rats that were wandering around by a skeleton. Instead of sneaking past the stairs, I edged towards the left, where there was a wall cavity containing a chest. I picked it open and scowled. Same stuff as in the other stupid chest. Suddenly, my ears pricked up. I heard breathing behind me. There was a big, smelly rat snuffling my loot bag. I narrowed my eyes and stood up, swinging the katana as hard as I could. The rat collapsed in an instant, but I wasn't in the clear just yet.

Another rat was running towards me, squeaking in fury. Actually, it was what I defined as fury, because it obviously wanted me dead for unknown reasons. I put up my shield and the stupid thing jumped right into it. Smart. Slashing at it, it finally died and stopped annoying me. I walked down the stairs and looked through the bones to find some old (but still good) food lying around, as well as heavy armor I didn't really want to grab. I took a bite out of a wedge of cheese when something bit my tail.

Squealing like a little cub, I dropped the cheese and turned around. _Another_ rat. Great. It jumped at me a few times while I was grabbing at my sword. I mean, Captain Renault's katana. Finally, I sliced through it and finished the job. I sheathed the katana and walked over to yet another chest. I slid the picklock in and broke it-blasted lock!

After a few more tries, I managed to get it open and stare at the dull loot. A rusty war-axe and six pieces of gold. Standing up, I left the axe behind and walked up the second flight of steps, between a few pillars, and into another room. A rat tried to attack me again, causing, of course, it's own death. I walked through the room, finding loose gold pieces every so often. This was starting to get boring, really fast.

I opened a sack on my way down yet another wall, finding a healing potion and a few lock picks. I tucked it into my bag with a shrug. This was getting too easy.

I wandered into the next room, killed the rat that ran at me, and looked into a semi-rotted barrel. It contained a bunch of ale-which, if you're smart, is completely useless. Although it acts like an energy drink, it really affects your brain, and kills your ability to cast spells. I've seen a good friend of mine drink ten bottles of the stuff, than jump off a bridge in an attempt to fly. It was horrible trying to clean up what was left of him afterwards…

I snuck into the next room and killed a rat, than looted the room. There was a skeleton grasping a jeweled cup and a ruby on the floor, which I picked up greedily. I searched the skeleton to find a few lock picks and a bit of junk to sell off. I opened a chest next to the skeleton and picked up _more_ potions. I hate carrying the stuff around- they taste horrible but are supposed to be good for you, like… vegetables. Yeah. Vegetables.

I walked into the next section of this room to find skulls hanging from the ceiling and a nice, toasty fire. I poked the skulls, trying to remember what I was told about hanging skulls. Um…'Hanging skulls equals lots of goblins.' I sat down to collect myself. Now, let's see…what the heck did I want to do next?


End file.
